Rowing

Recently I've been fairly nostalgic for my days as an elite athlete in an extremely rigorous sport - rowing.  I could never go back to my team here.  I think I would just end up pissed off all the time, frankly.  Same old politics, all new idiots who don't know what they're talking about.  On the other hand, being on the water every day and gliding across the surface through the sheer force of your own might is an incredible experience.  Not to mention the knowledge that you are the most physically fit human being on campus.

WIRAs 2009

(I'm 7th seat, so two people from stern) Entering the boat at Fawley Cup

(I'm 3rd seat from the bow) Varsity Lightweight 8

There's something to be said for athletes who willingly inflict this much pain upon themselves.  I'm definitely interested in rowing with a good masters program when I move to a big city.  There is a masters summer rowing program here in Pullman, and I've actually rowed with them before, but they're pretty amateurish.  It might be worth it this summer, just for the time on the water & the experience, but I haven't decided yet.

In the meantime, I'm getting back into rowing shape doing some erg pieces with my rower friends.  On Tuesday, I'm erging with my buddy, Paul, who has rowed as an ACRA (American Collegiate Rowing Association) All-Star.  My other friend and future roommate, Irena, rowed for the Czech national team until she was 21-years-old and came to row here at WSU.  She and I are erging together every Saturday now.

Irena and me in the university's erg room last night

Soon, I will be back to excellent shape! I think this will be good motivation for me to work out harder and harder from now on.

the art of being prude

I really do not know what is wrong with the world, or perhaps something is wrong with me.  I am just aghast at how promiscuous and transient the majority of people's sex lives are.  Maybe it's not the majority, actually, but lately it's sure seemed like a lot of people.

As I've analyzed this in my head more and more, maybe the "sluttiness" bothers me because, in a way, I'm envious? Other people can just let go and mess around indiscriminately, having fun.  But at the same time, I am so thankful that I have no sexual remorse.  I feel like I am very responsible, and I really respect my body.

I think that I work really hard to look good.  I mean, sure, I am blessed with fantastic Nordic genes, rendering me tall, blonde, and lean.  But I also work out 4-6 times per week, buy nice clothes, and take good care of myself.  I would argue that this entitles me to be a little extra choosey about my partners.  If I don't find very many people in my area attractive, that does not mean that I'm being arrogant.  If you aren't attracted to someone, you simply aren't.

Saturday night, some of my dear friends, Ann & Kate, and I all went out to a bar over in Moscow with some gays.  We definitely enjoyed ourselves - Moscow has so many fun venues to offer.  A friend had agreed to drive us back to Pullman at the end of the night, so we all piled into the car.  Kate had to lie down on top of 3 of us in the back seat.  A guy I had been conversing with at the bar was sitting next to me in the car, and, to my horror, would not stop trying to grope me! I was appalled! The only way I can describe it would be "aggressively subtle." I firmly blocked his hand from digging as far as he was trying to go, and tried to push it away from my leg, but he persisted! The entire 15 minute car ride.  Oh gods, I felt so violated.  Kate said that she felt him doing it beneath her, but didn't realize that I was not receptive to his advances, and asked why I didn't say anything.  I guess I was just shocked, and the situation was so awkward, I am still not certain as to what one should say.  "Please stop trying to grab my privates.  I am clearly not interested."

This is my body.  I don't understand why the general belief is that all men are seeking indiscriminate, casual sexual encounters whenever the opportunity presents itself.  Evidently, many men are, but I am certainly not one of them.  Get a hold of yourselves, people! Intimacy loses its legitimacy when you've slept with half the Palouse.

I may be a prude, but the root of "prude" is prudence, which is a virtue implying wisdom, insight, and knowledge, as well as the ability to judge appropriate actions at a given time and place.

Hold on tight

I'll tell you something, and not a lot of people know this: we are clinging to the surface of this planet while it spins through space at a thousand miles an hour, held only by the mystery force called gravity. A lot of people panic when you tell them that, and they just fall off.. but I see you're not falling off.

You're amazing just the way you are

I found this picture floating around in the sea of Internets.  That kid is freaking adorable.  Is it bad to say that I might be slightly disappointed if my kid ends up being straight? Hahah, totally kidding.. kind of.

Anyway, I find this story to be consistent with recent trends in the homosphere (<- Yes, I just made that up, patent now!) It appears that kids are self-aware and coming out of the closet at younger and younger ages in very recent years.  A lot of us "older" gays (relatively speaking, of course) are confused by this, as many of us did not come out until the 17-23 range or much MUCH later in a lot of cases.

I think that this change is due to the environment in which today's children are growing up.  I am so happy to see this: every time I turn around, it is more and more socially acceptable to be gay.  If you had nothing to hide, be afraid of, or feel ashamed of, I guess I don't see why someone would suppress themselves.  I was going to use my own personal experiences for examples, but I'm finding it extremely difficult.  It's a time of my life that is so repressed in my mind, full of self-shame and confusion as to why I was different than everyone else.  I.. I'm really actually having a difficult time just dwelling on it with my thoughts.  Moving on, I guess.

Anyway, when I was growing up, being called "gay" was the worst insult that could be thrown at you.  As you might be able to imagine, I was subject to this on a daily basis.  I wonder if this idea is finally beginning to fade out among the younger generations of today.  That would be so wonderful, if straight children and gay children could grow up side-by-side in a completely accepting society.

No parent wants their child to be faced with adversity.  Adversity, however, is a fact of life that most everyone experiences.  I think that many parents have previously not wanted their children to be gay for this reason.  They would discourage their children from doing things that could lead to them being perceived as gay.  Nowadays diversity is so celebrated that being a homosexual child may not seem like such a bad thing.

All of this is complete speculation, as I am not a parent, nor a child.  I do think we will continue to see trends as exemplified by the above picture, and I am elated that the United States may actually be able to provide a safe, nurturing atmosphere for gay children and/or children of gay parents.  I'm really thankful for my parents being so loving and accepting of me as their son.  It wasn't always so easy, but I think we can all agree that it's what we do today that really counts.

le futur et Montréal

There is a place in this world that was tailor-made for me to be relentlessly happy.

It is a city of 1.5 million.
It is a bilingual city, though officially francophone.
It is both historic and modern, creating a brilliant melding of picturesque European architecture and a contemporary city feel.
The cost of living is extremely cheap for being the 2nd largest city in Canada.
It has its own NHL team.
It is extremely gay-friendly.
The public transit is supposed to be very good (really important to me!!)
I hear the people are beautiful.
Compared with Europe or Asia, it is still culturally very different from the U.S., while not being too far from home.

Cette ville, c'est bien sûr Montréal.  If you have not sorted that out for yourself already.  I need to live in Montréal.  We're meant to be together.  It could totally happen except that I don't know how I would (easily) find a job there.  I have passable French, which could vastly improve before moving there, if I knew it were a sure thing, so I'm not worried about that.  But as an American applying for jobs in Québec, I totally don't have the advantage! If you've been keeping up with international news, Canada's job market is no better off than the U.S.  Darn darn darn!

Where I'm probably going to end up instead is Washington, DC.  While this is also a fine option, especially for American cities, it just doesn't fit the same mold I was hoping for.  I try to find positive comments on DC, but most people are complaining about the traffic, the crime, the high cost of living, the pretentious self-important people, etc.  The worst things I've heard about Montréal are the high taxes (probably how they balance out the cheap cost of living) and really bad potholes.

I'm not trying to rag on DC, but I just have a lot of my own stigmas about East Coasters.  It's difficult to understand unless you are coming from the liberal, laid-back, relatively ultra-friendly West Coast.  But who knows, maybe I'd like it.  I haven't been to DC since I was 14, and I've never even been to Montréal.

You might think this is silly, like, "Ky, why are you freaking out about the future so much? You don't need to worry about that right now." I'm not freaking out about it, and I'm not necessarily worrying.  I'm probably going to be living in varying developing countries over the next 3 years anyway.  But what about after that? You gotta know where the jobs are (i.e. Washington, DC, for me).  On top of that, it's been my dream for several years to live in Montréal, and I wish that I could realize that dream.. but at this time it is unclear to me how I will do that.  I'm interested in a career in diplomacy and linguistics, which is generally government-specific.

Anyway, if you are interested, here are a few of the key blogs I've read on either city most recently:

Montreal

Washington, DC

This is obviously not the only research I've done (lol), but I felt that they outlined my overall findings the best.  If you can find better info for me, I'd love it!

January feelings

Urghh college takes forever! Why am I still living in Pullman?!
Ok, I have been doing a really good job of having a spectacular attitude about being here, and for the most part I do love Pullman.  I like my job, life, house, and friends.  I think that I most get antsy to leave when it comes to being gay in this po-dunk part of the state.  I can dig country life, but en général gays do not thrive in more conservative, rural areas.  The pickens around here are reeeeeal slim.  Then I have gay friends living in downtown Seattle who have decidedly enviable lives compared with my situation here in the Palouse.  Fortunately I'm only 22 (yikes! 23 soon!), but I'm starting to get little reminders more and more frequently that I'm burning up some of my prime years here doing nothing.  I'm going to be 24-years-old before I move out of Pullman ; /  24!!!!

Ok ok ok, Ky, take it easy.  You're here because you have a job here, at which you're the most senior staff member and have everything pretty easy.  In December, you're getting your Bachelors degree.  Then you get to just work fulltime with no school, which will be sweet and a lot easier to save up money & pay things debts off.  When you do turn 24 and move away from Pullman, you're moving to Beijing, China.. Hello! Way better than Seattle! You want a big city? That's the biggest one I can think of.  Man, it's going to be an incredible contrast with my current way of life here.

A little more positivity - I'm really digging taking all upper level classes within my major.  This is the first semester that's really happened for me.  I'm taking 4th semester Chinese and 6th semester Chinese at the same time, which is actually a little bit painful.  However, I think I'm definitely going to stick it out.  I really like both professors, and at the end of the day, I get 2 back-to-back hours of Chinese 3 days per week (actually I have 4th semester Chinese 4 days/week).
All of the other classes are related to analyzing China: past, present, and future.  It's beautiful because I'm not just sitting in a boring lecture.  It's all very involved, and we are expected to come up with content ourselves.  The downside is that I have about 500 group presentations this semester, but those are more inconvenient than difficult.  As a result of these higher expectations of the students, I love finding that my peers actually (well, sometimes) know what they're talking about! As much as I'm looking forward to being done with college, I do love being a scholar.

I'll leave you with some food for thought:
How much money would you save if alcohol didn't exist?

Snowflakes

Winter has been all around me.  It was such a magical couple of days, with legions of snowflakes, and snowbanks the size of mountains.  Washington State University had its first Snow Day in 4 years! Usually they are vehemently stubborn about not canceling class (though not without facing criticism, when commuters from out of town or pedestrians on icy hills face serious compromises in safety).  Anyway, here are a few pictures from around my yard.

Untouched and fathoms deep

Driveway - This is what it looked like after being plowed...

My back deck - check out the accumulation along the railing! After a certain point, I think that was the maximum height it got to before it began to simply spill off the sides

Baker was having a hard time of getting around

Unfortunately all of this beautiful white magic is currently turning into an ocean.  The West Coast, even this far inland, simply does not get cold enough for a real winter.  I'm looking at places such as Minneapolis and Montréal with sighs of envy, given their freezing temps.  I do not mind the snow or the cold in the least, but I hate being wet and cold.  Here it frequently fluctuates between 31˚ and 39˚... not very conducive for nice snow.  The wondrous world around me will be a big, sloppy mess by tomorrow.