I found this picture floating around in the sea of Internets. That kid is freaking adorable. Is it bad to say that I might be slightly disappointed if my kid ends up being straight? Hahah, totally kidding.. kind of.
Anyway, I find this story to be consistent with recent trends in the homosphere (<- Yes, I just made that up, patent now!) It appears that kids are self-aware and coming out of the closet at younger and younger ages in very recent years. A lot of us "older" gays (relatively speaking, of course) are confused by this, as many of us did not come out until the 17-23 range or much MUCH later in a lot of cases.
I think that this change is due to the environment in which today's children are growing up. I am so happy to see this: every time I turn around, it is more and more socially acceptable to be gay. If you had nothing to hide, be afraid of, or feel ashamed of, I guess I don't see why someone would suppress themselves. I was going to use my own personal experiences for examples, but I'm finding it extremely difficult. It's a time of my life that is so repressed in my mind, full of self-shame and confusion as to why I was different than everyone else. I.. I'm really actually having a difficult time just dwelling on it with my thoughts. Moving on, I guess.
Anyway, when I was growing up, being called "gay" was the worst insult that could be thrown at you. As you might be able to imagine, I was subject to this on a daily basis. I wonder if this idea is finally beginning to fade out among the younger generations of today. That would be so wonderful, if straight children and gay children could grow up side-by-side in a completely accepting society.
No parent wants their child to be faced with adversity. Adversity, however, is a fact of life that most everyone experiences. I think that many parents have previously not wanted their children to be gay for this reason. They would discourage their children from doing things that could lead to them being perceived as gay. Nowadays diversity is so celebrated that being a homosexual child may not seem like such a bad thing.
All of this is complete speculation, as I am not a parent, nor a child. I do think we will continue to see trends as exemplified by the above picture, and I am elated that the United States may actually be able to provide a safe, nurturing atmosphere for gay children and/or children of gay parents. I'm really thankful for my parents being so loving and accepting of me as their son. It wasn't always so easy, but I think we can all agree that it's what we do today that really counts.
I have been thinking about this post for a few days wondering how to respond. First, of course you can be disappointed if your child is not gay. I would prefer you were straight but the thing is you being gay doesnt change my love for you. If you had a child and it was straight you would still love it the same. I have been uncomfortable with the pinterest photo comments because I was not and am not anything special. Simply a mom that feels life should be fair and if I teach my sons to be kind and thoughtful the rest of the world should treat them the same. Yes, I did fight for you but I fought for all three of you. You are my babies and I refuse to say its ok for others to hurt you. I may have fought harder for you because you were different but never because you might be gay. For me being gay is not who you are. You are SO much more and I don't like that it seems to define you right now. I am hoping because you fairly recently 'came out' its a sense of honesty and freedom but I hope one day its not so impt. just part of the whole package you bring to the world. I love you for being such a wonderful son and friend to me.
ReplyDeleteI don't think that it defines me, but it is unavoidably a huge part of my life. I am around straight people almost 100% of the time, so of course I would seek an environment where I am not the only different one. Sometimes it's really nice when there are more gays in a particular room than straights. Straight guys don't do the same things, understand the things that we understand, and are generally just more barbaric (e.g. Let's get blackout drunk on cheap beer every time we drink, yell a lot, throw up, then go pick a fight with someone downtown). But otherwise you're stuck just hanging out with girls. While they're not barbaric and they understand more of the same things, a girl is no substitute for a fellow gay man.
ReplyDeleteI guess my point is, I don't see how this sort of "barrier," so to speak, with straight people is going to go away or become less important. I'm different, with a different subculture and a different set of norms.
Ky and Cher....I think you are both the most amazing people! Isn't life wonderful? Full of turns and twists and wonderful opportunities to grow!
ReplyDeletelove you both!
Janet