Jeg har fået jobbet!

In the biggest news of all - I got the job! At long last, after all of my hard work, my dream can finally come true. 
A career. 
Travel. 
Being someone important.
Getting to use Danish and other languages at work.
Working with new people everyday.
A variable lifestyle I won't get bored with.

As I mentioned in my post in January, I adjusted my body clock to East Coast time 2 weeks in advance so that I would be well rested for my interview in Atlanta.  However, despite my best efforts, here I am, wide awake and ready to go at 3am (woke up at 2am, oh boy)

And here I am crashing in my bed in Phoenix after being awake for 24 hours, including 7 hours of interviewing and smiling, a Danish language test over the phone, and a 4 hour flight back across the country

 I am not totally sure how this will affect my blogging, because I've read a number of cases where flight attendants were fired for things they said online or even posting pictures of themselves in uniform.  Granted, I do have a number of FA friends who do just that and are just regular folks, so I'm not sure where the fine line is.  I will probably discontinue YouTube for the most part, though, especially with my technological impairments already standing in the way of that.  I hope people won't be too disappointed, particularly if I keep up via other social media such as this.

Training starts on February 26th back in Atlanta, so I am finishing up my time at work, getting my affairs in order, trying to get rid of my apartment, etc.  Soooo looking forward to it; making all new friends, all the bonding, and starting our new lives.  After which, who knows where I will be! They indicated most likely Atlanta or New York, either of which I am more than fine with : )

I came to fly

Blegh, I realized how backed up my blogging has been.  I do a lot more journaling in my actual physical journal, so I often forget how little I've kept everyone else informed (and I do know some people pop on here to keep track of me!)

My last post in December was so negatively focused around Adrian, so I will start by clearing that up and be done with it.  I think that we will always love each other, and we communicate with some regularity, but honestly the only way for us to really be together is for me to move back to Moscow, which I don't think either of us want for me.  I love Moscow, but I can't move there again.  It would just be stunting who I am and what I should really be doing.  Anyway, we're kind of doing our own things, so it's still a weird purgatory, but much less influential on my daily life.  I have plenty of other cute boys chasing me here in the desert : )

In bigger news, things are well moving forward with the Danish-speaking Flight Attendant position.  I will be interviewing in Atlanta this Friday, yikes! I am working so hard to prepare - I've even adjusted myself to East Coast time in advance so that I feel well-rested with the interview at 7:30 in the morning.  Basically this week is dedicated to being in a cocoon of Danish and airline terminology, along with reviewing my responses for all of the Q&A.  I imagine they haven't had a lot of legitimate takers for the Danish-speaking position, but I can't even get to the testing portion until after I get through that Q&A with the main group.

What I have to keep in mind is that this stuff is my personal forté.  I am made for this job.  There is nothing required for this job that I do not already possess or am otherwise incapable of.  I just need to frakking do it, just DO IT, KY!!

On that note, I'm also trying really hard not to stress myself out this time.  I need to know that I will be totally fine if I get a "no." I'm not letting anyone down.  I have a job in Arizona.  I can still go live in Europe this summer.  I can still move to a different city.  It will be toooootally fine.  The airline job is ideal, but it is not everything.

To this day

"You're going to meet the most extraordinary men, the sexiest, funniest, brightest men.  You're going to meet so many of them, fall in love with so many of them, you won't know until the end of your life which ones were your greatest lovers and which were your greatest friends." - Harvey Milk

Nothing is the same.

With regard to my personal romances, I've decided that I'm done pining for something with Adrian that is 60% figment of my imagination.  Unrequited love isn't a good look on me, and I've been wearing it far too long.  I can't talk with him about it, though, because whenever I mention trying to end things, he suddenly becomes the sweetest man in the world and tells me how much he loves me, sucking me right back into his web.  Then the minute I concede and reciprocate, he drops off the face of the Earth.  I couldn't begin to count how many times I've played a part in this cycle.

"Welcome to the age of un-innocence.  No one has breakfast at Tiffany's, and no one has affairs to remember.  Instead, we have breakfast at 7AM and affairs we try to forget as quickly as possible." - Carrie Bradshaw

It's good, though.  This is healthy.  I'm 1,200 miles away in a major metropolitan city with a job and good friends.  Ever since my boss has started being super nice to me these past two weeks (Is it a trick? New meds?), my life is a thousand times less miserable.  It's amazing how that was affecting everything, especially because there was no way for me to change or escape it without flat out quitting.  Anyway, it makes it much easier to view life here in a more positive light.

I went on a really lovely date to one of my favorite pubs on Friday with this fellow I'd randomly met this summer in the VIP lounge of a night club downtown.  What a cool guy! It was so refreshing to meet an educated, young, fit, genuine and kind fellow here in the Valley, or anywhere for that matter.  I actually just bumped into him again tonight, because we both have memberships to the same gym.  We've made a date to watch our favorite show, American Horror Story, this week.  And he's an accountant.. Not sure why I am so inherently drawn to them.  Maybe because I'm so not numbers-oriented that I seek out someone to compensate ; ) Well, we all have our gifts.  Anyway, I won't get ahead of myself.

Lots to look forward to this month! It is December, after all, which is usually a very happy time.  In a few weeks, I'm heading with a few close friends to Palm Springs for my parents' julefrokost (Christmas party), after which we'll continue on to L.A. and spend a couple of days at Knott's Berry Farm riding roller coasters.  On the way back to Phoenix, I'm going to get dropped off back at my parents', and spend the remainder of the holiday with them.  Then, flying back to the Valley so I can go back to work and replenish my empty coffers.  It's going to be so fantastic!

Latent Autumn Downpour

Wauw, I definitely hadn't realized I haven't posted since the end of October.  Shows my level of diligence.  Well, there is a lot to tell : )

At present, we're in the midst of a torrential, several day-long downpour of rain, which is most unusual for Phoenix, but fantastic for the Earth.  I'll admit, I'm chilly inside my apartment, when there aren't a lot of sources of warmth, and the indoor temperature is in the 60s, but overall, I'm snickering at the Phoenicians' complaints about the cold and rain.  Who knew so many people owned umbrellas?! (I certainly don't).  I witnessed a woman at a drive-through ATM holding an umbrella over her head as she leaned out her car window to speak to the teller.  Excessive? Possibly.

This past weekend, I returned to my personal haven, Moscow, Idaho.  It was such a wonderfully and vitally healing weekend for me.  I barely got to see half of my loved ones up there, and the time I did have with people was completely maximized with positivity, growth, and love.  It was great to get to be with Adrian, and some of my closest, truest friends.  My old boss from the Co-Op teared up when I visited her, and begged me to come back to work.  Kind of a nice change of pace, when I feel like my boss in Phoenix hates me the majority of the time (although that hasn't been so bad this past week).  Definitely tempting, and I nearly missed my flight back to Arizona as several things fell through simultaneously, so at the time, I wondered if it was a sign I should stay, haha.  But no, I did make it back to Phoenix with some heartfelt farewells.  At least I had a splendid time and will always know there are wonderful people in the world.

Tromping around in the snow up in beautiful Idaho, topped off with a glorious sunset

Went up to Spokane on Sunday with some good friends to see a show with electronic/dance music; super fun! Everyone got crazy (hence the shirtless Ky)

Other big news: there's an airline hiring Danish-speaking flight attendants! I started my application last weekend while in Idaho as soon as I heard the news.  Before I even finished the application, I got a phone interview! Then another online assessment, and last night I completed a test of my fluency in Danish.  Seems like I'm being express-laned with these guys, as opposed to the painfully drawn out process with every other airline I've applied with.  They must really need Danish speakers! I truly hope everything went well, because this could just be the answer to all of the riddles.  No need to go back to school, and I'd be landing my dream job, which would move me to a new city, AND I'd get to speak Danish at work every day! I can barely get my hopes up, because it's just too perfect.  Never have I counted myself quite that lucky.

Well, I'm cozied up in my apartment now with some Christmas decorations up, music playing, tea boiling, and pine-scented candles burning.  Hyggeligt : )

My current status

Here is everything that is true and inescapable:

- Despite my very best efforts, I cannot find happiness in the city of Phoenix, nor an amiable group of people to call "friends," aside from a few long time close mates, such as Katy, who has always been super loyal.  I am overall not very happy here.  I make the best of my situation, but it is a false image.

- No airline jobs seem to be working out.  I could have dogged the US Airways recruiting centre more with regard to the Reservations Agent position, but I am a social being and a people person, so the idea of working 40 hour weeks in a call centre sounds like hell to me, regardless of the flight benefits I would have received.

- In lieu of such a career move, I am making strides toward a fall-back plan I've had in the works since mid August.  I intend to fly to Denmark at the end of April, hang out and reunite with friends for a couple weeks while the jet lag wears off, and begin wwoofing (WWOOF = Worldwide Opportunities on Organic Farms) around the little island country for a few more weeks.  Then I'll move on to some wwoof sites in Germany.  I will be learning so much, and using my language skills.  It will be fantastic to refresh both Danish and German in my brain.  Then, in August, I am going to engage in an intensive German language course at this ancient little university in Tübingen, Baden-Württemberg, Germany.

- After that, I will likely return to the U.S.  I don't know exactly what the best course of action will be, but returning to Phoenix seems like settling back into the muck from which I am escaping.  No more boring routine! One option I am more than a little interested in is possibly moving in with Adrian.  I know he is interested in moving to Seattle or maybe another big city.  If this comes to fruition, it would be a really easy move for me, because I could ditch most of my possessions, as he already has a bed, furniture, TV, etc, and I wouldn't need to drop another $1,500 moving my things back north or wherever.  It would also give me someone to leave Johan (my cat) with while I'm abroad, so flying him up beforehand, along with some other things I won't need in Europe, would make sense.

- These are my own thoughts, not things that are set in stone, guaranteed to happen, or have been confirmed with any other parties.  But it's my blog and it's my life, and I think I know what I want in life more than anyone does.

- I've thought about simply buying a one-way plane ticket and seeking to stay in Europe, obtaining a job there, and so forth.  However, without a bachelor's degree, nor any way of initially generating income there, this option would be extremely difficult and risky, possibly resulting in stranding myself with no money with which to continue.  It is a very expensive continent.

- As I once again find myself being limited by my lack of paper credentials, perhaps it is time to throw in my Bohemian towel (to a certain extent, at least) and, after having completed my language self-study in Germany, pursue the remainder of a bachelor's degree in German linguistics.  This was more or less one of my intentions in relocating to Arizona, but with my spiritual and emotional isolation even among this mass of miscreant humanity, I have not been eager to commit to spending tuition money, particularly when not regarded as an Arizona resident for tuition purposes, which, in turn, would also hinder my ability to work freely and earn money with which to go on 4-month long European adventures.  I haven't even replaced my Washington driver's license with an Arizona one yet.  Something has held me back from doing so.  I think I'm afraid of getting myself stuck, as I so often have felt.

- Anyway, while I have put on a positive façade about my situation here, for quite some time now I have been regarding it as a fun year in the desert and nothing more.  I definitely had to come here to know that it ultimately wasn't right for me, because I always had fond memories of the party days from my previous Arizonan stints.  I figure I might as well get as much out of the time and experience as I possibly can!

Schicksal - Destiny

What am I doing with my existence? With my vessel of a body? With my time on this plane?

Go to work, come home, watch movies, relax, work out, eat, sleep, repeat.

I used to influence people of the world almost every day.  Through (apparently) inspirational YouTube videos, working with kids, teaching adults how to exercise and better their lives, speaking up in classrooms everyday, and so on.  What are my focuses right now? Instant gratification.  Contentment.  I do devote a lot of my time to improving myself as a human through learning and regular exercise.  And to be honest, I probably spent even more time watching Netflix and surfing the Internet from my bed while I was in school and doing all of those other things with my life.  Things weren't perfect, but at least I was contributing to the Universe more, and operating under the illusion of progressing toward a better position.  Right now, I'm stuck in the position I'm in, and don't have a ladder to climb.

All I know, is that I am greater than my present existence.  I survived a brutal car accident last summer completely unscathed, when by all logic I should have looked like the Scarecrow after some Flying Monkeys were done with him.  I have an Apollo line running down my palm, a promise of great success in life. 

The gods want me here for a reason, and I can guarantee it's not to be waiting tables or to become somebody's housewife.

What brought me to Phoenix? What am I supposed to be getting out of this? I have to leave my job.  This has to be my sole mission - better job.  Help people.  Always spread my light in the world.  Do not allow my abilities to atrophy.

Arizona Autumn

Fall is here! But seriously, after months of sweating and suffering, the lower temps are finally gracing us.  The high today is only 90˚! Pretty early in the year to be dropping out of triple digits, but I'm certainly not groaning over it : )

Normally, as my loyal readers will know from past experience, I am a vehement appreciator of the seasons and enjoying the "now." I get frustrated with people up north who are burnt out on summer by September and start wearing their scarves and playing Christmas music in anticipation of the colder seasons.  My mentality is that there will be PLENTY of time for all of that when the time actually arrives, but for the present, it is better to enjoy the final few weeks of warmth & sunshine before being plunged into 6-7 months of cold, gray, and wetness, haha!

Down here in Phoenix, however, I feel no such remorse.  There honestly won't be a significant enough change for me to feel like I'm not appreciating something or that I'm missing out on what's around me.  Oops, it's still sunny, blue skies and pleasant outside.  Therefore, I've wasted no time in buying my apple cider hickory pulled pork & pumpkin pie materials.  I may have listened to "Sleigh Bells Ring" and "Winter Wonderland" briefly yesterday in the privacy of my room.  I may be scoping out cheap tickets to some kickass hockey games for next month.  No shame here ; )

Things have been improving immensely with work recently.  I just do my very best to keep my boss off my back, and there have been a few incidents where she's flipped out at me in front of everyone, but it turned out to be a misunderstanding that had nothing to do with me, and she's apologized.  Maybe that's helped her realize she needs to calm the **** down and not react that way.  Regardless, life is significantly less painful (plus today is Monday, and she has Mon & Tues off every week!)

Not too bad, eh?