Religious & Historical Misconceptions

I have been learning a lot lately about how misguided our "common knowledge" of the world is.  I will try to restrict this remark to Americans of the United States, as this is the society for which I can most accurately attest.  I think I shall make multiple and sporadic segments of postings on this subject.  Our so-called familiarity with matters of both historical and religious significance are so ubiquitous, we have a difficult time viewing them objectively.  For example, I can readily cite several instances throughout the Bible where Moses incites mass genocide, condoned by God.

"Now when Moses saw that the people were out of control (Ky's note: does this mean that they were all drunk?) - for Aaron had let them get out of control to be a derision among their enemies - then Moses stood in the gate of the camp, and said, "Whoever is for the LORD, come to me!" And all the sons of Levi gathered together to him.  He said to them, "Thus says the LORD, the God of Israel, 'Every man of you put his sword upon his thigh, and go back and forth from gate to gate in the camp, and kill every man his brother, and every man his friend, and every man his neighbor.'" So the sons of Levi did as Moses instructed, and about three thousand men of the people fell that day.  Then Moses said, "Dedicate yourselves today to the LORD - for every man has been against his son and against his brother - in order that He may bestow a blessing upon you today." (Exodus 32:25-29)

Another, much more brutal example is the slaughter of the Midianites in Numbers 31.  I won't type out the whole story (you can easily look it up for yourself; the Bible is by far the world's most sold book), but will provide an excerpt where Moses is pissed that his soldiers left the women and children alive:

"'Have you allowed all the women to live?" he asked them.  "They were the ones who followed Balaam's advice and were the means of turning the Israelites away from the LORD in what happened at Peor, so that a plague struck the LORD's people.  Now kill all the boys.  And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man." (Numbers 31:15-18)

As an objective reader, one would see that this is horrific and clearly religious genocide and ethnic cleansing at its worst, written into a book from which we are culturally meant to derive our sense of morality.  Yet, knowing it is Moses and from the Bible, we tend to be wary of condemning scripture and assure ourselves there must be some other way to interpret the text or that it is simply taken out of context for the sake of propaganda.

Here we not only have Moses advocating that his soldiers slay the innocent and rape the virgins, but also one of the earliest examples of religious (Biblical) zealots attributing a plague to the fact that some people (in this case, a whole nation of temptresses) did something displeasing in the eyes of God.  Today we have a lot of contemporary incidents of people blaming Hurricane Katrina, Hurricane Irene (Michelle Bachmann), the tsunami in Southeast Asia, the earthquake in Haïti, etc, (the commonality of all of these being that they are apparently regularly occurring natural disasters) on the fact that the LORD is taking out His holy vengeance upon the sinners.  If you think I'm blaspheming here, you are not thinking objectively.  Simply read the scripture and tell me what it says to you.

It is then funny to me that Americans frequently perceive of Islam and Muslims as violent, warped religious extremists.  Have you read the Old Testament??! I find it deplorable that the Taliban in Afghanistan blew up the 150-foot tall Bamiyan Buddhas in their country.  They must be destructive, intolerant people.  Yet, the Christian God says Himself:

"Watch yourself that you make no convenant with the inhabitants of the land into which you are going, or it will become a snare in your midst.  But rather, you are to tear down their altars and smash their sacred pillars and cut down their Asherim - for you shall not worship any other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God." (Exodus 34:12-14)

If you were to actually follow this Good Book and adhere to the Word of God, you would be compelled to do the same as the Taliban.  The most common argument I would probably hear upon highlighting these passages (which are far from being isolated incidents in the Bible) is, "Well, not everything in the Bible is meant to be taken literally."
My response:
1) What is the figurative meaning behind the alleged slaughter of thousands of people in the name of religion?
2) Well then someone needs to go through the Bible with me and help decide which parts we're going to take literally and which parts are metaphoric.  It's religion a la carte.


Don't get me wrong; I like reading the Bible, as it is a major icon within the West's Judeo-Christian culture.  However, I do so as objectively as possible.  I get very confused by comparing what I know of the Christian religion (having grown up with it and through media) and the content of the book upon which the Christian faith is based.  They don't particularly match up.  In fact, I find much of the Bible quite disturbing.  I am wont to share with my friends the passages of the Bible I've found depicting zombie invasions.  Does no one else see this stuff? Am I the only one actually reading the book? Frickin' zombies everywhere!

In any case, my ultimate frustration is with people who think they are good, devout Christians (meaning, they know a lot about their religion, have a relationship with Jesus, have intimate knowledge of the Bible, etc), and they are denouncing Muslims as violent, misguided barbarians.  From my experience with the two, compared to the Qur'an, the Bible is much more gruesome and rampant with divine retribution carried out through its followers.  Do some reading and see for yourselves.

Also, God is always telling people about His loving-kindness, but simply as an objective reader of a book, I find Him extremely vindictive and temperamental.